Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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