why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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