HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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