How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I woke up under a house in Key West
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