Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
