About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
