I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
