I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
