I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
