you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
