no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
soo... how was my night?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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