So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
