I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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