Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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