Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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