how can u be prego again
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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