I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
