She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I checked into jail on foursquare
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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