my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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