Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Randomize
