benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
