I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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