apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
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