Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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