He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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