I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
