One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
