Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
