Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
don't judge my taste in strippers
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
