I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
