First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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