She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
