guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
