Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
