But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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