Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
