Im at strip club and am horny
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
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