she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Two words: nipple clamps
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