is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize