dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
His nipple licking is glorious
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