The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
