idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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