i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
