gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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