my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
