I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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