Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
smell my finger.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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