I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
