dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
