Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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